A Poem by Anonymous

 She smiles, my darling smiles, and all
    The world is filled with light;
 She laughs – ’tis like the bird’s sweet call,
    In meadows fair and bright.
 She weeps – the world is cold and gray,
    Rain-clouds shut out the view;
 She sings – I softly steal away
    And wait till she gets through.

A Poem by Anonymous

Take a personal hatred of authors,
   Mix this with a fiendish delight
In refusing all efforts of genius
   And maiming all poets on sight.

A Poem by Anonymous

A scrupulous priest of Kildare,
Used to pay a rude peasant to swear,
Who would paint the air blue,
For an hour or two,
While his reverence wrestled in prayer.

A Poem by Anonymous

I never see my rector’s eyes;
He hides their light divine;
For when he prays, he shuts his own,
And when he preaches, mine.

A Poem by Anonymous

 With due condescension, I’d call your attention
 To what I shall mention of Erin so green,
 And without hesitation I will show how that nation
 Became of creation the gem and the queen.

 ‘Twas early one morning, without any warning,
 That Vanus was born in the beautiful say,
 And by the same token, and sure ’twas provoking,
 Her pinions were soaking and wouldn’t give play.

 Old Neptune, who knew her, began to pursue her,
 In order to woo her, the wicked old Jew,
 And almost had caught her atop of the water,
 Great Jupiter’s daughter! which never would do.

 But Jove, the great janius, looked down and saw Vanus,
 And Neptune so heinous pursuing her wild,
 And he spoke out in thunder, he’d rend him asunder,
 And sure ’twas no wonder, for tazing his child.

 A star that was flying hard by him espying,
 He caught with small trying, and down let it snap;
 It fell quick as winking, on Neptune a-sinking,
 And gave him, I’m thinking, a bit of a rap.

 That star it was dry land, both low land and high land,
 And formed a sweet island, the land of my birth;
 Thus plain is the story, that sent down from glory,
 Old Erin asthore as the gem of the earth!

 Upon Erin nately jumped Vanus so stately,
 But fainted, kase lately so hard she was pressed,
 Which much did bewilder, but ere it had killed her
 Her father distilled her a drop of the best.

 That sup was victorious, it made her feel glorious,
 A little uproarious, I fear it might prove,
 So how can you blame us that Ireland’s so famous
 For drinking and beauty, for fighting and love?

A Poem by Anonymous

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all of his cash in a bucket,
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

A Poem by Anonymous

Since for kissing thee, Minguillo,
Mother’s ever scolding me,
Give me swiftly back, thou dear one,
Give the kiss I gave to thee.
Give me back the kiss, that one, now;
Let my mother scold no more;
Let us tell her all is o’er:
What was done is all undone now.
Yes, it will be wise, Minguillo,
My fond kiss to give to me;
Give me swiftly back, thou dear one,
Give the kiss I gave to thee.
Give me back the kiss, for mother
Is impatient, prithee, do!
For that one thou shalt have two:
Give me that, and take another.
Yes, then will they be contented,
Then can’t they complain of me;
Give me swiftly back, thou dear one,
Give the kiss I gave to thee.

A Poem by Anonymous

The knot was tied; the pair were wed,
And then the smiling bridegroom said
Unto the preacher, “Shall I pay
To you the usual fee today.
Or would you have me wait a year
And give you then a hundred clear,
If I should find the marriage state
As happy as I estimate?”
The preacher lost no time in thought,
To his reply no study brought,
There were no wrinkles on his brow:
Said he, “I’ll take three dollars now.”

A Poem by Anonymous

They told him gently he was made
    Of nicely tempered mud,
That man no lengthened part had played
    Anterior to the Flood.
‘Twas all in vain; he heeded not,
    Referring plant and worm,
Fish, reptile, ape, and Hottentot,
    To one primordial germ.

They asked him whether he could bear
    To think his kind allied
To all those brutal forms which were
    In structure Pithecoid;
Whether he thought the apes and us
    Homologous in form;
He said, “Homo and Pithecus
    Came from one common germ.”

They called him “atheistical,”
    “Sceptic,” and “infidel.”
They swore his doctrines without fail
    Would plunge him into hell.
But he with proofs in no way lame,
    Made this deduction firm,
That all organic beings came
    From one primordial germ.

That as for the Noachian flood,
    ‘Twas long ago disproved,
That as for man being made of mud,
    All by whom truth is loved
Accept as fact what, malgre strife,
    Research tends to confirm,
That man, and everything with life,
    Came from one common germ.